And so goes my store.....

Well a quick trip out today shopping for dress clothes finally ended at 6:30. We found out that the CompUSA by us is closing on Monday. This meant we were drawn to it to find out what deals they had as we had to go in for Mike's work items.......it was all over then. What a nice deal on the external hard drive......well maybe. Iomega brand, 320 gig at $135 after the discount. Pretty sure that was a decent deal but don't tell me if you find one - external or internal for cheaper - I'll have to kick you. That wasn't the only thing - a Logitech G15 keyboard, back-ups for the computer and a few other little things were included in this trip. And so my fully paid off visa is now once again carrying a balance. But it was worth it to get at least a slight deal on some of these items.

So its not exactly a faith blog but its another thing I struggle with. Money. The root of all evil for me most days. If I have it I will spend it. Which we did today. Mike sat there and struggled with himself and the decision to get a new keyboard, a better one that would work with his music instead of trying to find a mod for in-game purposes. Yes, we are gaming geeks and proud of it. Finally after just looking at him and waiting for his decision I picked it up before anyone else could. It has its' drawbacks - no box, software, wrist rest or feet to prop it up with - but its an awesome gaming keyboard. So now he is getting used to it and I am so jealous right now. Even though I have his old Saitek keyboard now. Its not to shabby and much better than the second hand one I was using.

And now its off to the land of dreams for me or at least the land of books before dreaming because I have to get up relatively early tomorrow for second service at 11 am.


Listening To: Beastie Boys - "No Sleep 'Til Brooklyn"

The Story Part 2....

Things went smoothly until we moved away 5 years ago. Then it became "we go when we can to church". Which wasn't always working for me. I was involved in the church and continued to to so until about 2.5 years ago. My husband started to get bored with the home church. Started to feel it wasn't the right place for us and started to just not want to go. I agreed to it and suffered in silence until I got baptized. I thought and thought about the decision for over 3 years and still hadn't done it. I'd kept hearing the song "Jesus take the Wheel" by Carrie Underwood almost every time we went somewhere. I'd heard it that morning before we went to church. And of course as if it was planned the sermon was on baptism that day. God was talking to me, saying "dummy its time. stop fighting me."

I was sitting alone because my mother-in-law had been on stage and hadn't seen me when she came in to sit. My father-in-law and husband were back in the Sunday school class we went to talking with the teacher as had become their habit. They did that instead of attending service and claimed to get more from those talks than attending service. Moving on...So I went up at the end of service and one of the wonderful men show knew me, my family and had kids my age who had been in youth group with my husband forever greeted me. I was shaking and nervous, knowing I'd be making a BIG decision in my life on the spur of the moment. No one knew I was going to do this. And out of all my family there - only my mother-in-law saw it. Well other than the 200+ fellow church members in attendance that day who were in the sanctuary. I felt so much better after having done it. The weight was lifted and I knew I was forgiven of my sins totally even after praying and asking for it many times over.

The kicker was my husband didn't see it, didn't see my wet hair and couldn't figure out why people kept coming up to me (more than normal that is) and hugging me. He felt like a dunce once I told him and said I should have told him I was going to do it. DUH, had he been in service that day in the first place, since it was a spur of the moment thing he would have seen it and known when I went up. But then again had he been there and everyone been sitting with me I probably never would have. But I forgive him for being silly and thinking I'd decided beforehand and just hadn't told him.

Then gas prices rose to almost $3.00/gallon and that ended our hour drive for church when we went. I knew that if I got off track again I’d be lost once again. So I started looking for a church locally. My husband was and is still not totally back into being at church. So the first one I went to was when he was away and the kids and I went. We enjoyed it. But he wondered where we were when he came back home that morning early as a surprise. We attended there again with him a few weeks later and he was iffy. We tried about 3 other churches and I kept coming back to that one. It was the closest to the home church as we were going to get. I’d had my father-in-law looks at their beliefs and give me his opinion on the church from what he saw. That was a huge step there to take. J So now I’m attached and the kids are too, especially since they have school friends in their classes there. He is still on the fence. I keep praying about it and hoping God will work in him to show him it’s the right place. But I don’t think he is open to it. He questions things and has no problem going on Sunday because he knows he should and its good for the kids to attend church weekly. But he is still looking for something else.

It frustrates me but I need the structure or I’ll fall to the wayside. I know I need to support his decision as a good wife but how do I do that when I feel he isn’t leading us to the right place? I’ve made friends with people other than parents of my kids friends. I need these people in my life to stay on the right path. They help me to find my way.

So thats it. This is about my struggle and my journey with my faith and family. I'm sure I'll end up posting some rants about my kids - it keeps me form wanting to do something that is shouldn't. I love them but they know how to push the wrong buttons.

Listening To: Decemberadio - "Drifter"

The story......

So I was sidetracked the other day and when I came back to the blog I'd lost my train of thought. But I'm back today and think I'm on the right train. haha This is going to have to be told in chunks or else it will be one big long blog posting.

So I am a Christian, raising my kids in a Christian church, with a Christian family on one side and Catholic on the other. My journey started when I was in high school and a good friend invited me to youth group. Simple enough right. But to backtrack a little, it truly stated with a Christian club called Visions in my hometown. I started going with my step-brother and it was fun. We had music for the first few hours and then the last hour was a small bible study/lesson. Each week someone would get up and tell their story of how they became a Christian, how their life was before and after and how they walk the walk now while fighting obstacles. It was what I needed. then my step-brother started attending the church that was associated with the club and whenever possible I tagged along. I was seeking but it wasn't my place yet.

This is where my friend comes in. I'd known Josh since freshman year and he and I hung out a lot. He invited me to his youth group on Wednesday night and I thought - why not? So I went and found I knew a few people there and not just from my old school. There were people from my new school and other schools as well. But it felt like the right place for me. I love the bible lessons we learned and even acting out things thanks to the goofy youth minister. He never thought about that person being embarrassed about being put on the spot. If you were there you did something. Ii was great. I started attending church there and loved it even if it wasn't the Catholic church service I was used to. But it was where all my good friends were.

Enter the boyfriend/ future husband and fellow Christian believer. I invite him to attend with me and he finds it ok but its not the right place for him. So I end up moving over to his church and youth Sunday school. But I'm still going to my youth group when I can if I'm not working. This new church becomes my church home in 1999 when we got married. My kids were dedicated here and we continued to attend for 5 years after we moved an hour away. Its even where I finally got baptized a little over a year ago. I love the people there, I miss the people there and the connection we have. And now I have to try and find that over again.

Now here is the background of my life up until the baptism. I am from a family that was Catholic. I say was because we went to church up until I was in 4th grade. i had my first communion, went to CCD, Sunday school and mass weekly. Then something happened and we stopped going. In 6th grade my parent split, but got back together in 7th grade and we moved. This is where my troubles started. I met a guy who I thought the world of, and older guy who liked me and would hang out with me. At the age of 13 one summer day things went to far. And not thinking anything of it I continued living like that for a long time. A very long time. It took another good friend of mine making a promise with me to wait until marriage the straighten me out. That and my parents divorcing, giving me the opportunity to move away and start over. That was sophomore year the divorce happened and by the end of that year I moved in with my mom.

I knew I needed something more in my life and that came during the time between the divorce and my moving. I found my faith. I also realized that where I was wasn't the best place or situation for me to be in. This is where Visions and my friend come in.

Bear with me.....

So this is my first posting on my new and official blog. I'm bored and wanted something to do. :) I feel as though I have lost my way once again - hence my title for this blog. I thought I was on the right path but I'm not so sure now with the things that have happened. Time to reevaluate things and life and figure it out. But more on that later as I have to get ready to head to school in a few minutes.